


i dont wanna fall, fall away

by joshlers



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Cancer, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 15:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4024993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshlers/pseuds/joshlers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which tyler and josh have happy, young love yet things never turn out right</p>
            </blockquote>





	i dont wanna fall, fall away

**Author's Note:**

> i got this idea from tumblr user jvshdvn.  
> the song is i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie. if ur in public dont listen to it. too many emo tears man.
> 
> im sorry for what ur abt to read

________________________  
Love of mine, some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark  
________________________

The nights were always cool by the time Tyler and Josh woke up from their naps and decided to drive till the rising sun. They never had a destination, where they would and wouldn't be known until the sky ripes into shades of sorbet and light. Tyler never minded. He was young and free and was perfectly okay with driving under the stars with the cutest boy who also held the stars in his eyes.  
________________________  
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark  
________________________

Tyler's body was small and frail against Josh's, which to be said none of them minded that. Josh wanted to hold him and Tyler needed to be held. Simple as that. They tripped over eachother's feet as they walked awkwardly down the beach, footmarks being made in the pale moonlight only to be washed away in the roll of the waves. Tyler liked it that way. This moment was only supposed to be engrained into their youthful minds, it wasn't something he wanted the sand to cherish. 

________________________  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs  
________________________

Tyler drove fast, even though Josh told him not to worry. It happens all the time, probably something linked with his anxiety, he says. Tyler doesn't believe flashes of immense pain isn't something to worry about, but he doesn't say anything. 

________________________  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
________________________

He knew it. He fucking knew it. It wasn't okay. There were warning signs and they both just ignored them. Josh was reckless and Tyler was too mad in love to question him. Josh always said the blood running through his veins was disgusting and sick, but he didn't know that wa literally the case. 

________________________  
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black  
________________________

They only had a little time. Every second was a second closer to Josh's death, even if Tyler wanted to think he would make it, something told him he wouldn't. They were a stuck clock, one that continues to tick in the middle of 2- second markers. Josh was stuck between life and desth and Tyler was stuck between love and acceptance. 

Still they didn't have much time, so they travelled in their little van, driving around the streets and stopping at little resturaunts around the way, camping at places they saw on their way, taking pictures of them picking the noses of statues of famous people, having the most amazing sex in the most amazing places. 

But none of this stopped the night terrors and it didn't stop the countless panic attacks and it didn't stop the cursing to hs once benevolent God on every platform he got and it didn't stop the horrendusly bad thoughts. 

For Tyler. 

Josh has given up his idea of life long ago. 

________________________  
And I held my tongue as she told me,  
"Son, fear is the heart of love."  
So I never went back  
________________________

Tyler got a certificate off online, one that certifies him to do official marriages. At 19, he slipped his fingers into a gold ring with Josh's name engraved in the inside. Tyler couldn't life with himself if he waited one more day to call Josh his. 

________________________  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs  
________________________

When Josh slipped out of his eating habits and all of his hair that was the color of the sunset slipped out of his head, Tyler slipped out of any life he had left. 

________________________  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
________________________

Tyler is still coping with the fact his husands been rotting in the same bed for 3 months. Of course, Tyler lays with him everyday, but everyday Josh's grip on him is lighter, he seems to be moving farther away from him in the bed, like an invisible sea pushing him away with the current. 

________________________  
You and me have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down  
________________________

Tyler realizes that Josh's meds aren't working right when he wakes up when he falls on the floor after falling asleep next to Josh. Once he popped his head up, Josh started screaming that there was a strange guy in his room. 

Tyler tries to explain, tries to tell their story, trues to kiss him and maybe this whole mess will be over, but it's not. 

The doctor says there are bad days sometimes. 

________________________  
The time for sleep is now  
It's nothing to cry about  
'Cause we'll hold each other soon  
In the blackest of rooms  
________________________

And the next day is a blur. His whole world's collapsed.

_______________________  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs  
________________________

 

His eyes were the stars. Now his night sky is filled with clouds. 

_______________________  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
________________________

 

You have no idea how great Tyler felt when he heard the dorky rapping in the endless choir of hymns. Needs some work he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this sucks lmao. 
> 
> i hope your day is going fine !! drink water, breathe and eat somethin pls lovelies ilysm babes !!
> 
> my tumblr is twentyonxpilots if ye wanna check me out. 
> 
> ur free to post the link to this story wherever, in fact its encouraged!!


End file.
